| I Thought You Were My Wife | |
| A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her." |
| Selling the Wife | |
| A drunk walked into a bar crying. One of the other men in the bar asked him what happened. "I did a terrible thing," sniffed the drunk, "Just a few hours ago I sold my wife to someone for a bottle of Southern Comfort." "That is awful," said the other guy, "And now that she is gone you want her back right?" "Right!" said the drunk, still crying. "You're sorry you sold her because you realised, too late, that you still loved her,right?" "Oh, No," said the drunk. I want her back because I'm thirsty again!" |
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